May 08

After our Cruise around Ha Long Bay we decided that we needed to see more of the city. We went to see the water puppetry (after a very long walk in the wrong direction before realising we'd walked right past the building we needed) which was....interesting. What made the night more amusing was Clare's questioning afterwards..."How did they get the fox from the water up the tree?!"...hard to explain why that question was so silly!
The next morning we were up early to go and see Ho Chi Minh's (Uncle Ho) body at the mausoleum... we just about made it on time, using very excitable taxi man and some cunning queuing techniques (just walk faster than the other people queuing). We were ushered into a giant pyramid tomb by very solemn looking guards (who 'shushed' Clare) and past the body of Uncle Ho. I didn't enjoy it at all, firstly because in his will Uncle Ho asked to be cremated but the government decided this was not what the people wanted, secondly, he didn't look real and thirdly Uncle Ho's museum was a very strange mix of art and propaganda which seemed more about symbolism and less about history. As Clare put it "It made my head hurt!".
We got a taxi back to the guest house and we're going to venture off to more things that afternoon but a trip to the post office to send things home took up practically all of our spare time (due to the copious amounts of paperwork involved in sending anything out of Vietnam!).
We caught our 12 hour night bus to Hue at 6pm... this bus was like nothing we'd seen before, it actually had beds in it and a toilet - which we sat too close to in hindsight! We grabbed to bottom bunks (for fear of falling off the top bunk due to Vietnamese driving skills) and settled into our journey before realising that someone had very stinky feet...
Hue was a very historical city with it's massive citadel and forbidden city (where the king stayed with his harem) which we walked to see on the morning we arrived. It was a very hot day so we spent most of our time trying to get from place to place via any shade that was available. As I said the citadel is huge, and there were even elephants you could go for a ride on, but it's also undergoing some restoration work so it looks a bit like a construction site in places. We also managed to get on TV as there were some people running around being chased by camera crews (it was possibly for a programme called The Greatest Race?!) and we were accosted by one of the girls shouting "Have you seen the check point?" to which we replied "The what?" and she said something about a giant red dot but the look on our faces must have been totally clueless as she darted off seconds later.
We had a late lunch at the Madarin Cafe and had a look down the many streets near our guest house before getting ready to go and try and find another bar we'd heard was a great place for travelers to visit. We failed to find it (this is becoming a recurring problem for us) and ended back in the Madarin Cafe for a beer before heading home.
In the morning we hired two xe oms (motorbike guides) to take us to one of the tombs (of king Tu Duc) and the Buddhist pagoda which was a fun way to see everything when you're in a hurry (the bus we needed to catch to Hoi An left at 1pm).
The bus to Hoi An was a short one (only 4 hours) and our first during the day for a while which made it interesting as we still had to sit/lie on the sleeper bus beds which made it impossible to sit upright. We busied ourselves with finishing off a packet of Ritz crackers and some Pringles and let out a few ooh's and aah's when we saw the South China sea.
Hoi An is a town mostly filled with tailors and shoe shops and as much as we didn't want to get anything made we ended up getting far too much. The protagonists of this shopping spree were the two South African girls we've known since our boat tour of Ha Long Bay who have a toy panda who walks and sings the Lambada as a traveling mascot...they showed us Panda in his coat made by the tailors and we just had to get things made! I got two pairs of light cotton trousers in brown and black and two Chinese style tops (which look fantastic) in red and in silver. And a pair of black flip flops which they actually measured my feet for so that the fit like a glove! Also the ladies from the tailors we used (Phong Cloth Shop) took us all out for dinner (for free) for buying lots of things and telling everyone to go to their shop (they had just opened their shop two days prior to us arriving!).
Around Hoi An are the Marble Mountain and China Beach (where American GI's spent their R and R time during the Vietnamese War...it was a beautiful beach with the most crystal clear water and white sand...we hired scooters with the South Africans from the guest house and took our time driving to see everything (ok, we got lost so we took the long way round!).
We spent two nights in Hoi An before heading off to the beach resort of Nah Trang on another 12 hour night bus... more on Nah Trang in the next blog!

The bus journey....oh my oh my! Firstly, the bus was not the VIP buses we had become accustomed to in Thailand, Laos is a very poor country so we boarded a very old rickety bus and hoped it would stay on it's wheels for the entire journey. We were placed on the back seats with the other Westerners and heard how the journeywould unfold (by a guy called Nate who has done the same journey 2 days earlier but had been turned away from the Vietnamese border for not having his visa on arrival). His story prompted 4 girls (who were wearing Ugg boots...says it all) to depart from the bus before it set off never to be seen again (well actually Nate says he saw them here in Hanoi the next night!). The journey was not for the faint hearted...the first part was in Laos which took us from 7pm to 3am, we parked up at a guesthouse which was closed, the bus driver got out of the bus and was let into the guesthouse whilst we were left to sleep on the bus with 50 other people. There isn't much room on these buses and being wedged between tiny Clare and her ability to curl up (taking up most of my seat) and Nate who is 6 foot 6 was not entirely idea for sleeping purposes so I decided to disembark and read my book outside the guesthouse, making sure I walked into all the people who had stretched out across the aisle. By 4am there was another attack of the bugs that are like ants with wings who have a tendancy to dive-bomb people so I took to playing flying ant tennis, using my book as a racquet...at 5am the locals got off the bus and looked at me like I was entirely insane.
The border opened at 7am so we headed off in our bus again for on of the most formidable border crossing we have encountered so far. The Vietnamese seem to have an aversion to smiling at Westerners (they apparently think we're all American) and they have very scary German Shepherds and they don't seem to want to help you to cross their border easily (let's just say it took us a while to get over!).
Back on the bus for our final leg of the journey...which was the most insane. they swapped drivers for this part, most likely for his amazing ability to continously honk his horn and avoid all traffic at the same time, this is the way of the roads here in Vietnam, they don't have many rules and any drive is incredibly scary. However, there was some amusement as we were stuck in a trafic jam outside Hanoi, Nate had been travelling with some friends and they had left him at the Vietnamese border... his friends are staying in the most helpful guesthouse in the world (where we're now staying also, the Kangaroo Guesthouse) and the staff set off on mopeds to catch every bus on the highway that had come from Laos to ask if Nate was on the bus... she found Nate, obviously to his amazement, and got all of us a taxi at the bus terminal and took us to their guesthouse. The staff here are brilliant, they pretty much do anything for you and they can actually smile!
Upon arrival Nate's friends took us all (ok I should explain, along with Nate on the bus there was an Irish girl and a Dutch girl) out in Hanoi for some food and coffee and beers (to the Loo pub which has toilet bowls with cushions on!) and back to the guesthouse where we also booked ourselves onto the boat tour of Ha Long Bay the next morning.
The boat cruise was just brilliant! We ended up on a boat with some Aussies and the fun never stopped! The first day was spent visiting the huge caves (the name of which I forget) and kayaking around the many islands and drinking copious amounts of alcohol on the boat, singing some terrible karaoke and diving off the boat into the sea before realising they had emptied the boats toilets! Luckily, we were on the 'deluxe' tour though so the cabins were very comfortable!
In the morning (far too early!) we had breakfast and headed off to Cat Ba Island, (via a 'beach' - it was a rock with a small amount of sand on it - for some swimming) which is the only inhabited island in the Ha Long Bay area so we could stay ina hotel for the night. Cat Ba is not the most exciting of places however we did make the most of it! We had dinner (why oh why do they only give vegetarians tofu??!) and headed to the bar across the road where the Aussies literally took over as the entertainment for the evening... they were absolutely crazy but I must admit we were all joining in on the fun and games! After the bar we went to the Discotheque (that's what it was called!) next door to experience the Vietnam clubbing experience. Basically, all the men dance and the women (if there were any) watch. and they have doorman/'fun police' who make sure no one has too good a time (I personally don't see the problem with placing a 4 foot 11 Irish girl on the 6 foot 6 guys shoulders myself....). We had a great time in the end, we laughed until we cried, danced until the flip flops came off and drank until they kicked us out at closing time.
The next morning.....oh dear! Everyone was feeling hungover and the thought of getting back on the boat at 8am was not appealing! We did it though, we all survived the trip back to the mainland for our lunch in a restaurant (tofu AGAIN!) and then back to Hanoi.
The Aussies and Nate and his friends have left already to get the bus to Ho Chi Mihn City which is a hop on hop off so they can stop at any of the cities on the way down for the night, whihc is what we plan to do tomorrow. We want to see Hanoi properly before setting off down south and to be honest, after the cruise, I need a good nights sleep!

Luang Prabang was probably the best place I've ever been to! We both decided we wanted to live there...in a shack with a couple of hammocks, between the waterfall and the town centre... it was the most laid back and peaceful place I've ever came across and completely different to Thailand.
On our 9 hour slow boat on the second day we talked to an Irish girl called Emma and a dutch girl called Claudia and after disembarking from the boat we all stayed together as we tried to find a few cheap rooms from the touts that surrounded us. After seeing two guesthouses we eventually ended up staying at the first guesthouse we'd been offered (the guy had literally tailed our tuk tuk on his motorbike and took us one by one on the back of it (with our massive back packs) to the guesthouse 2 minutes away. The rooms were great, clean and had en suite bathrooms and were close to the town centre (and cheap - 180 Baht). As we arrived in the early evening it was decided that we'd all get showered and dressed and meet in the Hive bar across the road to get some food and a few drinks and to get to know our new companions. As it turned out we ended up having two for one cocktails in the Hive bar and moving on to the bar down the road called Lao Lao bar which had a massive beer garden out the back and a very good menu. We ate, we drank, we talked. Iyt was a very enjoyable evening until we read the back of the menu which had information about Laos and we discovered there is a midnight curfew in Laos, meaning that all the bars kick out at 11:30pm... however...we left the bar and were immediately confronted by several tuk tuk drivers asking if we wanted to go to the bowling alley. At first we just laughed as this seemed like the most bizarre destination but wesoon found out that the bowling alley is the only place that stays open until 3am and serves alcohol. After a brief discussion and much amusement we decided that we only live once and even though 75% of our group hate bowling (me being the exception) we headed to the town outskirts for Beerlao and bowling (actually we didn't play at all). The only problem encountered was that the tuk tuk home cost twice ad much as it did on the way there and we the driver pocketed a 10,000 Kip (that's less than a pound) when we were paying and we had to pay again (it was more about the lack of honesty rather than the loss of less than a pound!).
The following morning we all arranged to meet at the cafe/bookshop to arrange our trip to the famous waterfall. Emma and Claudia were trying to get us all to cycle the 32 kilometres in the midday heat...up hill, but luckily we managed to persuade them that this was a very silly idea when we could be driven there by tuk tuk.
The waterfall was....breathtaking. I have never seen anything like it in my life. On the walk up the path we came across the lowest pool (which you could swim in) and thought is was beautiful until we realised that there were two more swimming areas and the highest fall to go. The last stop was incredible. We decided to go back to the first pool to swim in and it was freezing...so much so that I had trouble catching my breath the entire time I was in there! Claudia and I then decided we were going to jump off the waterfall (there was also a tree with steps nailed to it that you could jump in from) so we decided to scaled the slippery rocks. I was terrified, so much so that my legs were shaking so much when we were ready to jump that I thought I was not going to be able to push myself off! After a 1-2-3 we jumped. Well, Claudia jumped and had hold of my hand so I was basically pulled in! I felt incredibly brave and had an adrenaline rush!
That evening we booked ourselves in for a well deserved massage and discovered the night market, which someone joked that unlike Thailand where your are practically dragged over to stalls, you actually felt like apologising for trying to buy things!
The next day in paradise we climbed the hill steps which took us to some Buddhist monuments (and Buddha's giant footprint in a cave) and had our massages (I have decided I don't like them...) and got an early night ahead of our departure by minivan to Vang Vieng the next morning.
Vang Vieng as the guide book told us was a strange place dedicated to reruns of 'Friends' in every guesthouse and a phenomenon known as 'tubing'. We loved it!
We got dropped off in the middle of town and literally walked into a guesthouse and got a room then settled into some serious Friends addiction. The next morning was tubing day! Tubing involves being taken 3km up river being issued with a giant tractor wheel inner tube and floating downstream. Now this may seem harmless however there are at least 8 bars on the way down, and a swing jump into the river - the first of which was 10 metres high! I managed to work up the courage to climb up to the swing and then promptly (well after about 5 minutes of 1-2-3....no no no!) decide that my life meant more to me than embarrassing myself in front of a bar full of 'tubers' by chickening out.
The next bar had a smaller swing and Clare prompted me into action by saying she was going to do it. Not to be outdone, I went first. And successfully avoided death (and landing face first!). Clare managed to get four steps up then sat back down again!
Several bars and sings later though she did redeem herself and completed the second largest swing and we have video evidence luckily the video obscures the fact that she had to be pushed off the tower by a kindly man to save her the shame of descent via the stairs!
We had however spent far too long in the bars as the tubes had to be returned by 6pm and at 5:30pm we were back on the river trying to make it back in time. Darkness set in which did not please me so I left the safety of our group of tubes and paddled frantically downstream before realising that there were no signs to tell you where to stop and I should just land anywhere I could (around a mile past the end it turns out - long walk back for me and a worrying wait for Clare). More drinks followed with the Canadians we made friends with and a trip to one of the island bars for music before the curfew.
The following day we were sure we'd go tubing again however the paddling/singing/lifting beer had taken it's toll on our arms and the beer had taken it's toll on our heads/bodies/ability to move. More Friends and lots of food later we headed to the river to watch the tubers coming in and the sunset in hammocks. Followed by more hammocking and beer in the bar we'd been in the previous evening.
We left Vang Vieng the following morning for Vientiane (the capital city of Laos) where we are currently enjoying a mixture of sunshine and rain. As it is a Sunday everywhere seems to be closed (such as the National Museum) so we're a bit stumped as to what to do. Vientiane is not the best place to be entertained we have discovered and...we now realise that the country is indeed still a Communist state which explains why I keep seeing the hammer and sicle flag everywhere and why there's a curfew (people have been trying to tell me I'm wrong on the way but I'm sure it's just a mild form of Socialism here, hence you can get a Pepsi and other American brands). We're thinking of heading to Vietnam tomorrow night on another 20 hour night bus (I'm so happy about that....) but we're not sure about going to see the Plain of Jars on the way out of Laos...

Oh my Buddha (a new saying which has me in stitches), it's been a long time since I've written anything so I'll try to get everything in and not make it too long.
Our bus journey from Phuket to Bangkok - a nightmare because the bus driver thought he was Lewis Hamilton, we did survive though. It was 2 hours of 'interesting' driving and we arrived in Bangkok at 6am. By the time we managed to catch a taxi from the bus station to the city centre (one that was metered at not a crazy price) it was 7am and we soon realised that nothing in the MBK/Siam Centre area opened until 10am so we killed some time eating noodles in a 24 hour restaurant. Then we got approached by another very friendly Thai lady who, of course, was very helpful and showed us where (her brother's no doubt) Travel agency was so we could get tickets to Chiang Mai (20
Baht Tuk Tuks are always a con, they should cost around 60 for legitimate fares).
However, we needed to find a travel agent to leave are bags in and get tickets so we actually made it a great deal. We got accommodation, bus, trekking, slow boat into Laos and a smile for around 100 quid each (for 10 days).
So we had around 11 hours to kill in Bangkok...we basically hung around the Siam Centre which was quite fun because it was the 2nd birthday and it was Japanese themed music and clothing so there were loads of kids dressed in some interesting stuff.
The bus to Chiang Mai was pleasant as was the guesthouse we stayed in. We got there at 4am and the next day was a 'free day' (not trekking, bus, boat etc) so we just walked around looking at the night market and admiring the moat and wall surrounding the city centre. The next day we were supposed to be trekking but the weather meant we couldn't go until the next day so Clare decided that we were both going to do a Thai cooking course (yes, I did protest...I was not happy). Actually, I will admit to having lots of fun... and the pictures of me proudly displaying my spring rolls say it all.
Clare then, unfortunately, spent the night being very ill...so trekking was postponed again whilst we took her to see a very friendly doctor. Whatever medicine (and shot in the bum) he gave her seemed to work so we went two day trekking (not three as planned) in the jungle. Firstly we got to do elephant trekking which I'm not sure I enjoyed as I've heard that the elephants are mistreated, but it was funny having the greediest elephant who refused to move unless he was fed 4 bananas and who tried to steal everyone elses with his long trunk.
Trekking was amazing, I absolutely loved it. Although, I was worried about Clare and her sickness (which was food poisoning by the way) and the 3 mile hike up hill and the heat but we both made it unscathed. We stayed the night in a shack basically with mosquito nets and a thin mattress and pillow. Having gone to bed at 9pm we were rudely awoken by the family's cockerel at 6am and by the time we all surfaced, they had all started their daily work in the fields. We stated next to a village which disappointed me somewhat as it was supposed to be some tribe who lived basically and it should have been like stepping back 1000 years but they had electricity from solar panels and cable TV.
We then had to start the trek back which was another 3 hours and our legs were already aching. However, it was really fun and we got to stop at a waterfall half way and go for a swim. It was beautiful and walking through a waterfall is really tough as the water pressure is immense.
The rest of the trek was easy going and we got picked up by the truck and taken to the river for some bamboo rafting. It started sedately but by the end we were soaked and laughing. Basically the bamboo raft is long and flat and 4 people plus a driver can fit on it. the driver uses a long pole to push us down the river...seems simple as a concept but when I took control I immediately got us stuck on a rock and when the water got bumpy I immediately found myself in the sitting position. Clare....oh Clare....she simply is no good with water vehicles (think back to the kayaking incident). She had us heading (at great speed) toward a massive rock, no evasive manoevers were employed nor did she try and save herself. Cue us hitting said rock and Clare being projected into the 'hugging rock' position (luckily she escaped any injury but I feared for her face when she hit the rock).
The following day we had to get a minibus to Chiang Khong. It was a 5 hour journey so it was a piece of cake to us and we arrived at our hostel for the night at a reasonable hour. There is not much to do in Chiang Khong at all apart from do the border run to Laos over the might Meh Khong river which we did the following morning. It took a long time to process the 3 boat loads of tourists. And get us organised for the slow boat (yes, I did buy a cushion). The first day was 7 hours on the boat, pretty cramped conditions (we were on the floor) and we had to stop at Pak beng for the night. This was a very small river town and the electricity only came on between 6pm and 10 pm everyday and was powered by a generator. Unfortunately, we picked the wrong guesthouse.... I was in bed by 9pm and by the time the lights went out at 10pm we were infested by flying bugs... literally thousands of them. I was woken up by the bugs crawling on my face. It was awful, we decided to sit outside as there were less bugs there for an hour. Then, dressed in hoodies and trousers we crawled back to bed and hoped for the best. In the morning there were dead bugs covering the floor. Nasty.
The second boat was 9 hours long. and has brought us to Luang Prabang which is truely wonderful. I will explain more in my next post.

We've been in Phuket for 2 nights now. Phuket is an island (which I didn't know before) and we're staying in Phuket Town in a hostel called Thalang Guesthouse. It's a nice place, we get breakfast included every morning of coffee/Tea, Toast (with marmalade) and a banana! We managed to get a boat from Phi Phi to Phuket which was direct however we were both slightly worse for wear from the preceding night as it had been a the night of the beach party. We decided to have a couple of drinks in the Irish bar then head to the Reggae Bar to see the Lady boys....They were supposed to be on at 10:30 but in true Thai style we had to wait an hour. I'm growing very cynical of the Thais and their cunning ways of getting you to stay longer and drink more and having to pay the lady boys for the photos we were practically forced to take after the show..then the inevitable "Now you tip me!" then 100 Baht wasn't enough....I think I had a rant about it to Clare who helpfully pointed out that things don't come for free...
Anyway, after the show had finished we got talking to a couple who had been sitting in front of us and whilst Clare discussed things with the girl, I talked football to the bored looking boyfriend! It was aound 1:30 that we decided to then make our way to the beach party...surprisingly the 'boring man' accosted us as we were heading for the bar and told us to come and dance with him and his other new friends. By the time we'd got our drinks and were finally getting to dance the music stopped playing....the party was over! Determined to have some fun we headed off in the direction of Hippies Bar which we were assured was open until 5am. We flip flopped for a good 10 minutes before finally finding the bar which appeared to be shut! However the TV was still on and it was the Man Utd vs Barcelona game but the bar was shut. We had to wait for these teenage boys to wander in with plastic bags filed with beer before we could get a drink (which was 100 Baht a can - you can pick the cans up from the 7-11 for 25 Baht) so after attempting to haggle (maths is apparently not my strong point when drunk haggling - I offered 75 Baht for two and was surprised by his rejection of this!). Anyway two beers later, the match was over and we decided we really should have been tucked up in bed a long time ago if we were getting a boat the next afternoon.
The boat journey was a joy...we both ended up on the deck as the constant rocking of the boat which usually resulted in Clare sleeping had actually made her (and me!) quite ill - "watch the horizon"
We landed in Phuket and got a taxi to the town where we stumbled across the first hostel listed in our Lonely Planet guide and decided it wasn't worth looking for the one I'd wanted to stay at (the On On Hotel where they filmed part of The Beach, room 38 I've been informed). We ended up with a triple room as they had nothing smaller but the price was reasonable compared to Phi Phi and the room was massive and clean.
The next day we decided that we had to visit Patong beach which is literally like some Spanish resort crossed with Brighton. The streets are lined with shops, bars and clubs. Selling novelty hats, T-shirts, silk and in the window of a pharmacy there were some 'Borat' style swimming trunks with added wings and horns (Google it if you have no idea what I'm talking about!).
We had a great day at the beach....there were rows and rows of sun loungers (which you had to pay 200 Baht for the day), parasailing, jet skis, surf boards and body boards. I immediately wanted to get a surf board however, Clare had to remind me that without lessons first I would simply drown. So I opted for a body board instead (200 Baht an hour) and spent most of the time battling with the massive waves that were crashing against the shore. I did catch a few big waves though and was thoroughly impressed with myself! Next time though I will have to wear a rash guard as my stomach got a battering from the waves I discovered when putting on after sun that evening (ouch!).
We caught a bus back to Phuket town around 5pm and visited a travel agent to see how we were going to get from Phuket to Chaing Mai. We decided upon a night bus (arriving at 6am!) as the plane tickets were quite expensive but either way we have to go via Bangkok again (our trip appears to be not very well organised!) but this happens to be a very good thing as we didn't realise that we need to sort out Vietnam visas before we get to the border and this can only be done in Cambodia or Bangkok in one day! Once we pick up our visas we will have to get another night bus up to Chaing Mai which will be quite tough two nights in a row (I'm sure I'll be a delightful traveling companion!!).